I can't believe I haven't written in two weeks. It has been a crazy two weeks. I was hoping to have a picture of our new living room furniture to post but the furniture store messed up our order so it won't be delivered for another week and a half. (We ordered it on September 6th). I was not happy when they told me that. I mean its not like we ordered custom made furniture--it's just from a big box store.
As for the IVF, things seem to be going well for now. Last week we got a call from our Doctor, he told us that things were not going well and we were going to have to stop and retry next month or in January. BUT... we went in the next day to go over our options, and after going back and forth over things ALL DAY, miracles just poured down from Heaven and we have been able to continue. We are both very grateful to all the nurses and our Doctor for thinking so fast on their feet and we are especially grateful to our Heavenly Father because we know that all blessings come from Him. I don't really have any news except to say there have been no further complications and our Dr. is happy with the progress. At this point I just feel like a pin cushion from so many shots. (Although if this works I will have to continue with the shots for another 8 weeks after I take a pregnancy test-yuck!)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Cat is out of the Bag!
I wasn't going to say anything about this --but now that my entire ward knows, I might as well let everyone else know, that Brian and I are trying In-vitro again.
Shortly after we tried in-vitro last spring, my visiting teachers came over (by the way this was the 1st visit I had received since moving into the ward in December). Well one of them had picked a talk from the Conference issue of the Ensign on the joys of motherhood to give as the lesson. They kept talking about how wonderful motherhood was etc... and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I told them what had just transpired and that talking about motherhood was a very painful subject for me. What I didn't know is that one of them had just been called to the RS presidency.
A few days later the RS president came by to see how I was doing and to see if there was anything they could do for me. I said no. Fast Forward to a few weeks ago. My RS president called to ask me somethings and then she asked how I was doing and if Brian and I had decided to try in-vitro again. Well, Brian and I had decided to try again but I really didn't want anyone to know--but I didn't want to lie to her. So, I told her we were planning on trying again. I didn't say when or give any details.
Last Sunday while I was at a meeting for Relief Society we were asked to say something we were grateful for "today". I said I was grateful to my husband because he is really good at calming me down when I'm upset. Then my relief society president announces to everyone, "Betsy is trying to get pregnant and she is on hormone treatments because they can't get pregnant on their own--she had some genetic problems. And the hormones make her emotions go up and down." I just about died!
Truthfully, I am "in-cycle" as the doctors say. Which means I have started the hormone injections again. However, I really didn't want anyone but my family to know. I am extremely anxious about the whole thing. Brian and I prayed and fasted and we went to the temple before we made the decision to try again so we know we have made the right decision. But that doesn't mean I am going to end up pregnant. We prayed and fasted and went to the temple earlier this year before we tried it the first time. Going through it this time is even more difficult because I know how badly it hurts when things don't work out. Last time I was just filled with hope that it would all work out, and this time there is doubt. I am constantly having to exam my feelings, as to why I have doubt. Is it because I feel we made the wrong choice or because I'm scared. And every time I really think it out, I know it is just because I'm scared. It is just not something I want to discuss with random people I don't know that well.
Not only am I anxious about it not working, being on the hormones is just plain awful. They make me gain weight like crazy (I gained over 15lbs last time-which I started losing, but have now re-gained), they make me emotional and moody, they give me headaches, they are effecting my eye sight, and I have several bruises from giving myself the shots. Not to mention several other side effects that I'm not going to write about on a public blog. My husband is a complete saint about the whole thing.
I am not always negative about the experience. If it works it will be 100% worth it. Sometimes I allow myself to day dream and I pick out all the things I want to get, like baby furniture, and which car seat is best, and what kind of rocking chair do I want etc...
Shortly after we tried in-vitro last spring, my visiting teachers came over (by the way this was the 1st visit I had received since moving into the ward in December). Well one of them had picked a talk from the Conference issue of the Ensign on the joys of motherhood to give as the lesson. They kept talking about how wonderful motherhood was etc... and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I told them what had just transpired and that talking about motherhood was a very painful subject for me. What I didn't know is that one of them had just been called to the RS presidency.
A few days later the RS president came by to see how I was doing and to see if there was anything they could do for me. I said no. Fast Forward to a few weeks ago. My RS president called to ask me somethings and then she asked how I was doing and if Brian and I had decided to try in-vitro again. Well, Brian and I had decided to try again but I really didn't want anyone to know--but I didn't want to lie to her. So, I told her we were planning on trying again. I didn't say when or give any details.
Last Sunday while I was at a meeting for Relief Society we were asked to say something we were grateful for "today". I said I was grateful to my husband because he is really good at calming me down when I'm upset. Then my relief society president announces to everyone, "Betsy is trying to get pregnant and she is on hormone treatments because they can't get pregnant on their own--she had some genetic problems. And the hormones make her emotions go up and down." I just about died!
Truthfully, I am "in-cycle" as the doctors say. Which means I have started the hormone injections again. However, I really didn't want anyone but my family to know. I am extremely anxious about the whole thing. Brian and I prayed and fasted and we went to the temple before we made the decision to try again so we know we have made the right decision. But that doesn't mean I am going to end up pregnant. We prayed and fasted and went to the temple earlier this year before we tried it the first time. Going through it this time is even more difficult because I know how badly it hurts when things don't work out. Last time I was just filled with hope that it would all work out, and this time there is doubt. I am constantly having to exam my feelings, as to why I have doubt. Is it because I feel we made the wrong choice or because I'm scared. And every time I really think it out, I know it is just because I'm scared. It is just not something I want to discuss with random people I don't know that well.
Not only am I anxious about it not working, being on the hormones is just plain awful. They make me gain weight like crazy (I gained over 15lbs last time-which I started losing, but have now re-gained), they make me emotional and moody, they give me headaches, they are effecting my eye sight, and I have several bruises from giving myself the shots. Not to mention several other side effects that I'm not going to write about on a public blog. My husband is a complete saint about the whole thing.
I am not always negative about the experience. If it works it will be 100% worth it. Sometimes I allow myself to day dream and I pick out all the things I want to get, like baby furniture, and which car seat is best, and what kind of rocking chair do I want etc...
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